Fall in NYC

For someone to say that they have gone through life having no regrets are either lying or too positive to see that someone could have always been better if one decision was made differently. That decision for me was 5 years ago. Although I know I have a good life, I tend to wonder where I would be or how different of a person I would be. I’ve longed desired for a couple of things. Ever since I was about 13 or 14 I wanted to be part of the huge city of New York. I’ve been there twice. Once 7 years ago during the summer and once again this past Christmas. It’s one of those dreams that replay in your head but never tell anyone because of how stupid it would sound out loud. People who know me best would even be surprised to know this. I’ve always thought living in the fast paced, popular city was so appealing. Every time the seasons change, I wonder how cool it would be to experience in New York City. Whenever I think of Manhattan, I think of two things. Fashion and Journalism. I want to change my major to Journalism. I still would like to minor in Psych but I’ve realized my passion is writing. I love how writing makes me feel. I love being able to use words to describe a part of me that can’t be expressed through actions. I love when people can relate. I love trying to find the part of people they don’t know is there. That’s the sensitive part people are captivated by and can relate to. Whenever I see TV shows that use the city as their backdrop I become so jealous. I see people walking quickly with a hot chocolate in their hand. I see the lights advertising the plays and celebrities. I think sometimes we have this fantasy life we think of as an alternative. Saying, if this life right now never existed, how would it be instead? This would be mine. I would be in a pencil skirt, fancy top, a pea coat with that hot chocolate in my hand. I would be walking quickly to my job in a big office building and handing my latest piece to my boss. I would sit in my chair in front of the camera and wait for the countdown. I would laugh with my co-workers and watch the city full of people behind me. I would feel the crisp air of autumn while watching the colored leaves fall. I would watch all of the decorations for the Macys Thanksgiving Day Parade and the Christmas holiday begin. Until then, I can only pretend in Orem, Utah.