More Than A Dream

Reality has finally set in. Today, something happened to the company I worked for and some of us were laid off. I happened to be one of them. I haven't blogged in a while, but today I felt inspired to share my thoughts about life and reality. 2006 and 2007 couldn't have been more of a challenge or more of a heartache then it was. I know with all of my heart, moving to Utah was the right thing to do but somehow in my mind, I figured moving would make my memories of things or weaknesses I had developed would suddenly be gone or would be left behind. I couldn't have been more wrong. I have never discovered myself as much I have had to these past 5 months.

I came home today feeling unstable and empty. Alone, sick, and physically exhausted from balling my eyes out. It wasn't anything personal. It's all about numbers. I know that and I shouldn't at all take this personal but knowing me, there is always a hidden agenda or message. Everything basically was perfect until now. Living the dream in Utah was going well and I was starting to feel as if I had accomplished something I wasn't always confident in doing. I felt SO bad for my roomate, Ashley. I came home and saw she was hear and used that opportunity to soak her shirt in my tears and make her listen to my ongoing ramble about the shock I was still in. She, along with my mom, made me realize that I'm not alone and no matter what happens, another door will always open. Heavenly Father has a plan for me, and I know I will bounce back. I guess since this has never happened to me before, I'm at a stand still. My head hurts, I'm tired, and feel I need a break and SO thankful I'll be on a plane to NC in 5 days. Speaking of.....

My dad leaves for Iraq in May for a whole year. I'm going to spend time with the family in NC for a week. It's bitter sweet. I'm SO extremely excited to be seeing my family once again and spend quality time with them in the place I proudly call home. But, at the same time, I will be saying Goodbye to my daddy once again before him leaving for the "Desert". I know he'll be safe. But... It's never going to be easy no matter how many times he goes.

I came across this quote by the infamous Susan B Anthony. Coincedence?



"I think the girl who is able to earn her own living and pay her own way should be as happy as anybody on earth. The sense of independence and security is very sweet."